existential

I hope I win!

2008-06-27T05:36:00.000-07:00

Win the Essential Babywearing Stash from Along for the Ride (one Beco Butterfly, one Hotsling baby pouch, one BabyHawk Mei Tai, one Zolowear Ring Sling, and one Gypsy Mama Wrap)

Where has May gone?

2008-05-28T03:32:00.000-07:00

W is flying to Oregon today, and all month long I have said "oh, that isn't until the last week of May..." well, it's here. I'm praying for peace and strength today. Malerie, I don't know how you do it while Kevin is away. I suppose I'm just a big baby!

Where to start? Two weeks ago a sweet friend took me to the Westin Heavenly Spa in Huntsville. We had 50 minute massages and 50 minute pedicures. It was such a treat! They make you feel like a million bucks there. Thankfully I was so relaxed that when I came home that afternoon, I was able to stay up all night with Sam. Her first tooth cut through the next day! Such a big milestone in a little girl's life!

The next Monday I did what has not been done in ages... I went shopping... for me! I knew a big trip was coming, I just didn't know when. I wanted to wait until all of my weight was off, but summer came first so I needed to go. I usually never shop for myself (for practical reasons like, eh, money) and make sure everyone has what they need, but this was a me-day. I'm so grateful!! I went to Kohls in Franklin, and I got some great deals. And... I'm wearing shorts this summer! For the first time in 4 years. Thank you Jesus that you healed my knees!!

We had a great Memorial Day weekend. We spent it at the river with W's parent's all except Saturday night/ Sunday (came back for church). I have to say, Monday was definitely my favorite though. We literally sat on the dock and boat for most of the day. T-Pup rode in the paddle boat, went fishing and overall had a wonderful time. Sam loved everything except the life jacket when we went for the boat ride. W spent some time on the jet ski, and I just relaxed and spent time in the sun. Oh, and I saw a two foot spotted gar. At first I thought it was a snake, then an alligator... then I finally saw the dorsal fin. Ew. You know how much I love these things called fish, right?

I really feel like the Lord is about to download some major stuff to me. I am more broken now than I have been in a long while... and I am looking forward to new revelation. I want to teach our children to hear the voice of God, to know the stillness His presence brings. You know, all of these things on earth will pass away (except our spirits)...but He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. I want my kids to know that.

Yeah David Cook!

2008-05-19T13:31:00.000-07:00

He has our votes!

Show me some love!

2008-05-12T19:28:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I have a new feature. Live traffic feed! Everywhere from Auburn to NY to Massachusetts... tell me who ya are! I know I love blog-stalking... but it can be kind of freaky too, you know? Show a sister some love and tell me about yourselves.

one of those days

2008-05-12T13:04:00.000-07:00

Wow, what a Monday. It's days like these that discourage me. We did all of our laundry Saturday (our dryer is out, so we've been doing it all at once, one day a week at Whitney's parents house) and the house has stayed relatively clean, so I thought we would have a more relaxed, fun day.

I cleaned up the kitchen after breakfast, and got my shower. I then got the children ready to go to the park. We played for a good 25-30 minutes, when T-pup told me he had to use the potty. We go in to the bathroom... nothing. We go out, continue to play, when I hear "mama, I think I need to poop" so, we begin the trek again to the potty. Half way there... "I pooped". Sigh. We go to the bathroom, I clean him up as much as possible. We get in the car, drive home. Pull up, wonderful... we're locked out of the house. We then drive to the church, get a key, drive back home. I start getting T's lunch ready, and cut my finger with the scissors. (Rant: I hate these injuries because they look so little but hurt so bad!)

So, I stop the blood (ok, it wasn't quite that bad) and everyone eats lunch. Whitney is home by now, and wants to go outside to hit a few golf balls after he finishes eating... so T asks to go with him. Next thing I know, T is coming in crying and has peed all over himself.

Bath time.

My day got much easier after all of this, but I hate it because by 1:30, I felt entirely spent. I had no motivation to do anything else around my house, and my mood wasn't that great either. I told myself it wasn't worth it to get all worked up, so I laid down with the kids for a nap.

I jokingly told Whitney that he could stay home, and I would go finish his work for the day... but I don't know how much I was joking. I love being a stay-at-home-mom, but some days I think it would be nice to have an off day. Oh wait, I'm going to have on this Saturday. Thank you Jesus, just in time! My sweet friend Susan is taking me to the Spa. I can hardly wait.

Sorry for the complaints!

Busy as a bee

2008-05-12T12:48:00.001-07:00

We had such a great week last week. It started Monday when I took the children to see my sweet, very pregnant friend Shelby and her son Gabriel. They live north of Nashville, so it was a fun day out.

Tuesday evening Whitney had a meeting in Nashville, so we again tagged along and went to the Cool Springs Galleria while he was in his meeting. I had our double stroller and was wearing my new fit-flops and truly felt in control walking through the galleria. It was such a good feeling! Really up until now I've had a hard time getting out with both kids and not being overwhelmed.

Wednesday was normal (church, etc.) and Thursday we went to the zoo in Nashville with my friend and her 2 children. It rained the whole time. Thankfully, my double stroller is very well water resistant and SA stayed completely dry. She just cried the whole time. Afterwards, we went to Chick-Fil-A in Cool Springs, and saw Melinda Doolittle! She is just as cute in person as she is on TV. By the way, the new coffee caramel milkshake at CFA is nothing short of amazing.

Friday (coming to a close, haha) afternoon some friends asked us to eat with them in Franklin. They were not bringing their children, so were able to fit a sitter for Thomas, and just took SA with us. I forgot what it is like to just have a baby and go out to eat. She slept over half the time in her carseat carrier! We had a great dinner with our friends and laughed... a lot! I think we needed that!

Saturday, we slept late and recovered from our four trips to Nashville. We had a big breakfast of bacon and biscuits, and did laundry all day.

Sunday brought Mother's Day, and I throughly enjoyed all of the royal treatment. I could use a Mother's Day once a month!

we did it!

2008-05-06T12:33:00.000-07:00

Country Music Half Marathon 2008

Easter pics

2008-04-15T08:11:00.001-07:00

These are a few pics from Thomas hunting easter eggs on Resurrection Sunday at our family gathering. I do want to say... I am still grieving that we did not take a family picture in our "Sunday Best". If I may be so proud, we were a good looking group! Both the children were in little smocked outfits (who knew I would ever be such a fan? I never would have imagined.) and I was able to buy a new outfit (the first in a while), and Whit had a nice shirt/tie combo with his suit. I know that going to church is not about what you wear, but as I've seen on "What Not To Wear", you feel better about yourself when you look good. Know what I mean? At any rate, Whitney said we could re-create our fashion for that day and take a family picture.

First Foods

2008-04-15T08:03:00.001-07:00

So, we have arrived. SA will be 6 months this week, and we're working on foods now. Wow, I never knew it would be such a difficult task with her! Thomas started eating and hasn't stopped. She does not like anything she puts her mouth to (except the mama's milk, of course!). I usually try to introduce veggies first, then fruits... because obviously if you have the sweeter fruits first, who will want a veggie after that? But, she doesn't like either. I really pushed the "baby foods" with Thomas, but now I know that she'll eat when she is ready.

I gave her a piece of zwieback toast last night, and she did great with it. So, we will get there! At least I know for a fact that she is getting all the wonderful benefits of breastfeeding!!

Amazing!

2008-04-08T18:09:00.000-07:00

This story absolutely amazes me! I'm so excited to once again realize that God puts the pieces of our lives together in such a greater way than we could ever imagine.

On February 3rd, I had a dream about a dear friend of ours. She was recently engaged at that point, and the next morning I immediately e-mailed her the dream. This is what my e-mail said:

In my dream, it was the day before your wedding and I had come to see you. You had a specific “day before the wedding cake” and it was a blueberry cheesecake, and we were eating it together. Instead of walking down the aisle, you were coming in on a row boat, so we were also decorating the lily pads in the water with candles and pearls. It was a sweet time together, and the cheesecake was amazing!

This morning, I begin my daily routine and checked my e-mail. I saw this friend's name in my inbox, and immediately opened the message. This is what her e-mail said:

I was rereading the dream you had! I would like to invite you for the day before the wedding cheese cake with me and who ever else is around! I am going to have one made and I know my time will be so tight that day before the wedding but if you would like to come to the cove that day and help with all that will be going on I would love to have you around for a few hours! I know that you have two little ones and this may not be a possibility but I will have the cheesecake there and you are welcome! Also I just was thinking about the wedding and yesterday we decided to use the Cove. I took David out to see it! He wasn't crazy about it but He liked it better than the church! So He wanted me to do what I wanted! I chose the Cove! He picked the spot for the ceremony! Just to be honest the spot He picked made no sense to me but I am learning to compromise and not have to have everything my way! This I know you have learned already, I think I have in alot of area's but when it comes to planning the wedding day it is a little tough! But I think this isn't my day it is our day! I say all that to say He picked infront of the Pond next to the Lodge! I really wanted it a different spot but I didn't make a big deal about it! Then a few hours ago I started thinking about your dream and I thought I need to read that again! And when I read it I laughed, I may not do the boat thing but I think the rest of it I will try to live out! I love the PROPHETIC! It was like He picked the right spot, when I read that dream of yours! So let's eat some Blueberry Cheesecake and decorate some things to go in the pond and have a blast! And maybe if I am brave enough I will come in on a boat!!!

Is that not amazing? God is faithful and good! I love love love that he knits us all together in His Holy Spirit. There is always a bigger picture than what we see.

2 year old fun!

2008-04-08T17:57:00.001-07:00

I originally feared the age of two years old. We've all heard the old adage "terrible twos". You know, it doesn't have to be true! I'm sure many people experience this for different reasons, but life with our two year old is a blessing and a blast. He melted down (extremely) this past Saturday night for the first time in over 7 months. Praise God! If I had to say now my guess for what he would be when he grows up, I would say engineer without a doubt. Everything he puts his little hands to is a project; he goes to great measure to insure preciseness and creativity. I love it.

Ok, well he and Whitney went to the Home Depot children's workshop for the first time this past Saturday. We heard from a friend in our church about this event every first Saturday of the month, so the anticipation was definitely there. They went to eat breakfast at a small local restaurant, then headed to HD. The project was a flower box, and Thomas did all the hammering himself. What a big boy!

The next thing I wanted to mention was a conversation we had this past Thursday. I was eating an orange, and some juice spilled on me....

me: uh oh, some orange juice spilled on me
him: like apple juice?
me: yeah, but only from an orange
him: oh
me: do you know where apple juice comes from? is it a banana?
him: no, it's the refrigerator

I laughed hysterically! He is so literal, it cracks us up constantly.

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from in. Proverbs 22:6

mindless musings.

2008-03-25T15:29:00.000-07:00

My brother has made it safely to Kuwait. He e-mailed me and said he was eating a lot, working out a lot, and sleeping the rest of the time. They should be leaving for Iraq any day now. A friend from high school, Therese, is married to a Marine who is in the same division as Matthew. She told me about this thing called motomail, and it is amazing. It is a free service to Marine families, and you essentially type a letter online and enter all of the Marine's info, and they e-mail it over there, print it out, and deliver it to them within 24 hours. Amazing.

I have officially decided that I may be walking 13.1 miles on April 26! (Mal, please don't freak on me!) I can run 1.5 mile without a problem, but after that it is crazy hard. I'm thinking my best bet may be to run a mile, walk a mile. I have no idea! I know there will be a lot of adrenaline on race day and also all the bands and cheerleaders will add to the excitement, so I may get a sudden burst of running stamina. I'm still training 4 days a week so... we will see.

Lastly, my birthday present "spa day" is in the works. However, it will be more of a "spa 2 hours" than a whole day! I think I've decided on the heavenly massage and feet of a goddess pedicure. Ohh just the thought exhilarates me. I'm looking at May 2. That is the Friday after the run, so I'm sure my feet will still be in need of a good pampering.

Well we are about to go over to some friend's house for dinner. I'm looking forward to a fun evening. BTW, SA is in the stage of full blown teething. I am beside myself as to what to do to help her. She wants to nurse constantly, bite constantly (another story for another day). I've tried the little teething tablets, and can't tell a difference. Baby oragel seems to help for a while and allow her to sleep, then it all starts over again. In my humble opinion, the first few teeth they get are always the hardest. It's so wild I am just now realizing again that we again have another baby. Does that make sense? With T-Pup being 2.5, we've been out of this baby cycle for a while. Now we're teething, starting cereal, getting ready to introduce foods... we really do have another baby. Amazing.

So long, farewell.

My brother.

2008-03-20T07:56:00.000-07:00

My brother Matthew is leaving on Saturday for his first deployment. He is with the 1 Battalion 9 Marines Weapons Company (the 1/9) and will be serving in Ramadi, Iraq. They are flying from Camp LeJeune, NC to Maine, from Maine to Dublin, from Dublin to Kuwait, staying in Kuwait for 4-6 days, from Kuwait to Baghdad, and from Baghdad taking trucks into Ramadi (several hour drive). He will be there until September.

"Because he has set his love upon me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known My name. He shall call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him. With long life, I will satisfy him, and show him My salvation." Psalm 91:14-16

We've talked several times this week, and I prayed with him last night on the phone. I cannot express this adequately, but it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I believe wholeheartedly that he has a huge call on his life, and that call has yet to be fulfilled. I pray that God uses this experience in Iraq to draw him closer to Himself.

Please pray for Matthew and his fellow soldiers. Please pray for the families of those who are serving.

Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. James 5:16

so sleepy!

2008-03-08T12:36:00.000-08:00

Wow I am so exhausted. I don't even know why! Sam woke up this morning around 6am, and I was excited to get up with her. I opened all of the blinds and sat in amazement as it continued to snow. We probably had a scant 2 inches, but it was so pretty. When the boys finally awoke, we got dressed and drove to "Paw Nae-Nae's" house. They live a little more in the country and this morning had acres of undisturbed snow (as opposed to our little house in suburbia). Whitney took some amazing pictures of T-Pup, so hopefully I will be able to get a few of those on my computer soon :).

Anyway, we came home and ate lunch, and I then took a nap with Sam. I feel more tired now than before I laid down. I warmed up some coffee from this morning, but just the warmness of it is making me want to crawl back in the bed. I am meeting Maria in about 50 minutes for our 2 mile run. I can't believe that I have completed all of the training for the week! I feel so proud and SURPRISINGLY not sore! I LOVE that!

Also, the day before I started WW (by the way, weighing in tomorrow morning) W took a picture of me with his iPhone. I took a picture of me yesterday with my phone, and wow. When I showed W, he was like "I told you so!" but I can't see the change. In the picture I couldn't miss it. Praise God He is helping me through this!

Going to get ready now. 2 miles, here I come :)

back to normal

2008-03-05T09:51:00.000-08:00

In this picture, T-Puppy is shaking Sam's hand saying "nice to meet you!" :)

Thank you Jesus, we are for the most part back to normal this week. T-Pup is much better, and we are accomplishing the usual daily tasks around our house. I am also so grateful that Sam did not catch the virus.

So, Hillary had a good night last night winning Ohio and Texas. On the cover of the New York Post this morning, it said "Hill, Yeah!" which cracked me up, but not quite to the point of an audible laugh. I just don't really know which direction this election is going in, and I don't have a clear idea of who I will vote for. Off the top of my head I say John McCain, of course, but that thought is followed by an "eh" and shoulder shrug. We'll see.

Almost time for lunch, so off to prepare it.

ski-trip pics

2008-02-26T20:24:00.001-08:00

update on T-Man

2008-02-26T18:17:00.000-08:00

I went back and forth on whether or not I should travel to Huntsville today for Sam's well checkup. I didn't want to make T-Puppy travel while being so sick. I prayed the Lord would give me a clear answer and this morning when T-Pup was still so weak I felt like I did need to take him, just so Dr. Powell could look him over. Sam is doing great. She is in the 25-50% on her height and weight, however her head is off the charts! My OB has joked with me before that I have 7lb babies with 9lb heads. It is true. We are a family of bobble heads.

I told Dr. Powell about everything with T-Pup, and he picked him up and held him and gave him a kiss. It made me feel good when he said "This is the first time you've been sick buddy". He is such an amazing doctor and I'm so thankful for his presence in our children's lives as well as our own. He said T-Pup had every characteristic of the roto virus, which is a really aggressive virus for little ones. Obviously. My son has been sick for 3 days. He is so weak that he can only walk two or three steps then just falls down in the floor and doesn't move. It hurts my heart to see him like his, but Dr. Powell said we might have another 2 rough days ahead of us but it should start clearing up some. He said to just keep pumping him with fluids.

We were back home by noon and have had a pretty relaxed day since then. I actually took a nap with the children from 4-5pm so that was a nice blessing.

Lastly, I have decided to run in the Music City Half Marathon. It is on April 26 in Nashville. The amazing thing is that when a friend asked me to run with her, I told her I'd consider but didn't know if I had enough time to train. I prayed that God would give me wisdom and help me to make an educated decision. Last week I got on myspace, and happened to remember a friend we went to church with in Huntsville ran some. I looked at her myspace and saw she had several race pictures on there. I sent her a message just asking for advice. Turns out her fiance's father is a cross country training coach, and she said she would talk to him for me. He made me out a detailed week by week schedule for the next two months of exactly how I needed to train and when. Talk about an answered prayer!!! I now know it is feasible for my to accomplish this. I am looking forward to doing this. It's something I always thought it would be neat to do. It's just nice to have something to look forward to, for me. I so often forget in this stage of having small children and staying home that I have to take time for me, too.

Megan, won't you come up and run with me?!!

Under the weather

2008-02-25T16:09:00.000-08:00

Well, I went to the dentist last Tuesday. I have an aversion to anyone in the field of dentistry. Turns out I needed a root canal. They wanted to schedule it for Thursday, but we were leaving Thursday for the youth ski trip and I didn't want to absolutely overload us. So, we scheduled it for Monday (today).

We had a wonderful time on the ski trip. All the meals went over so well. I can't believe I made enough food to feed 50 people. And there were leftovers! And surprisingly the "big" trip to the grocery store only cost $260. I was expecting around $500. It kind of makes me wonder how I spend $150 on us for 2 weeks when I can feed 50 people for a weekend for less than $300!

Sam slept with me, and T-man slept with W in the guys dorm. Early Sunday morning W called me and said T-Pup had thrown up and he needed a change of pajamas for him. So, I met him outside and gave him the jammies. Not 30 minutes later he called and said he was sick again and asking for me. So, he brought T-Pup over. Long story short, the poor boy was so sick. He vomited and vomited and had so many diarrhea diapers. We left Indiana, but he got worse so we stopped in Lousiville, KY and took him to an urgent care type clinic. The doctor gave him some phenergan (sp?) suppositories and we continued our travels home. He slept for most of the way, and thankfully stopped vomiting. He did have several more bad diapers, but for the most part stopped. Last night he got a fever of 103, and this morning it was 102. I called his pediatrician, and he said there was a bug going around and to try and ride it out. He also said he would have never given a 2 year old phenergan suppositories and not to give him any more. That scared me, but it did allow us to get home without him being sick anymore, so I'm thankful for that.

So, this morning I went to the dentist to have my root canal. It wasn't near as bad as I expected it to be. Apparently the procedure has gotten much better with time and technology. I've had a pretty good amount of pain since the numbness has worn off, but motrin has been sufficient. I don't want to take any of the loratab they gave me. Those things mess with your head!

Tomorrow is Sam's 4 month checkup in Huntsville. So, hopefully T-Pup will feel up to traveling. We definitely have a lot going on right now. Thankfully the two big winter trips for the youth are over and we'll have some of our free time back to ourselves.

I talked to Bobbie yesterday and she said that there was chit-chat of John McCain asking Bob Riley to be his potential running mate. Wow?! Seems like a really strange decision... but more power to him if its true. I do love the Riley's. And wouldn't Patsy make a perfect second lady? Is that what you call the VP's wife?

Anyway... pictures to come of the ski trip.

more pics.

2008-02-13T08:58:00.000-08:00

some thoughts.

2008-02-13T08:35:00.000-08:00

Ok, before I forget, I lost 1lb. last week. Now at a total of 5lbs!

I really should be getting a shower right now, but since my son is eating popcorn and my daughter is crying herself to sleep, I thought I would stick in a load of laundry and blog for a bit. T-Puppy is a wonderful eater and I don't think he's ever choked, but popcorn is one of those things. I would just rather not be in the shower while he is eating it alone. And for Sam, she has become the ultimate cuddle bug. I absolutely love this, and yesterday I just gave into my desires and cuddled with her and T-Puppy all day long... but I wasn't productive at all. So, today she is going through a little cuddle detox and crying herself to sleep.

I'm saddened to say that my sister miscarried yesterday. She had the DNC this morning. She is doing good I think, considering the circumstances. She was able to have Addison's first birthday party this weekend, and they said it went wonderfully.

We spent the weekend in Nashville and had an amazing time. Friday night Joseph and Shelby drove us around (they have an Expedition so 3 car seats fit perfect!). They showed me the Vanderbilt campus and all around West End, out to Green Hills, and then we jumped over to Hendersonville for some dinner. Saturday we spent time at Centennial Park (see pictures) and had a blast. We are waiting for the notification from Vandy to come any day now to see if Whitney has been accepted for the fall semester. It's so exciting!

We had the sweetest little snowfall this morning. It actually stuck for a while, then around 10 the sun came out. Maybe we'll get some more before long.

It was a year ago today that I found out I was pregnant with Sam. Wow, what a day! And what a year. My little girl is almost 4 months old! Time flies when you have children.

Ok, well she is sleeping now and T-pup is through with his popcorn. So, I'm going to take one of my speed showers and get started on lunch.

cardinal rule

2008-02-07T16:15:00.001-08:00

W's Aunt Brenda has a cardinal rule for family gatherings...
No speaking of politics or religion.
I'm afraid I'm beginning to agree!

woo-hoo

2008-02-05T13:12:00.000-08:00

At this week's weigh-in, I lost 3lbs since last week! That makes a total of 4lbs in two weeks. Can't see it yet, but if I keep it up (trying my best) I think I'll start to see a difference in my clothes in the next few weeks. Yay!

Today is Super-Tuesday and we went and voted first thing. I am proud to say I voted on the Deomcratic ticket for the 2nd time in my life. The first was when Jimmy Sandlin ran for Family Court Judge in Lauderdale County (a GOP hadn't been elected in some 20 years I believe, so he ran on the Dem ticket). Today I voted in the primary for Barack Obama. I say I am "proud" to have voted on the Dem ticket not because I am a democrat, but because I am willing to look past my own conservative ideals and look at the bigger picture. The GOP's will take care of themself. I just don't want Hillary.

Anyway. Here is a sweet picture of my little princess.

Sweet and Crunchy

2008-02-01T12:35:00.000-08:00

It is so amazing how life changes when you have children! I'm trying to think of something exciting to blog about, and all I can think of is our new double stroller! We knew we wanted one, but wanted to make sure we made the right decision. Before driving to Nashville to make the purchase, I read reviews on at least twenty double strollers. I expected the cost to be anywhere between $150-200, which ended up being right. I found one online at Babies R Us that I loved, but it was available online only. So, I decided if we didn't find anything I could always resort back to the website. Turns out, they had that particular one in the store! It's great because the seats are interchangeable (both facing forward, face each other, back to back, or remove the back one and put the carrier in). Versatility my friends! Makes life a lot easier.

No WW updates yet. I'm not getting on the scales until Sunday morning!

Is anyone watching The Celebrity Apprentice? I previously had an aversion to this show, but somehow got started watching it. Surprisingly enough, I love it. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the fact that Stephen Baldwin is so open with sharing his faith. He actually goes to church at The Sanctuary with some of our good friends Roger and Nicolle Matzke in Huntington Beach, CA. Rog is the youth pastor (formerly the Worship Pastor). We haven't seen Roger and Nicolle since Aug of 2005, but always enjoy hearing them talk about their friends who just happen to be celebrities.

I'm snacking on sweet and crunchy peanuts... hence the title. Have a good weekend!

WW update.

2008-01-29T15:12:00.000-08:00

So I weighed in Sunday morning, and to my excitement, and lost 1lb. At first I was a little bummed out because it is only a pound, but then afterwards I started thinking, and at least I didn't gain any weight. Through my brief one and a half week on WW, I have learned somethings about myself. 1) I snack a whole lot 2) I eat when I'm "stressed out". The snacking I feel like I can take charge of pretty easily, but the second is a little harder to deal with. It confirms to me that there is still more the Lord needs to work on in me (not that He was just about finished with me!).

I was talking to my friend Shelby earlier today, and she told me something that I told her almost 3 years ago. The statement in itself was "we don't use birth control, we use self control". I think that 3 years ago was probably the last time I said that, because when she said it, it literally took me back. I know that W and I have been poured into by amazing people, and I am so grateful for those things. I just feel like some of it has been forgotten (ie the above statement). We've been in a position the past 3 years that we've poured out, so naturally I just feel like we need to be refilled. Granted we have our time with the Lord here in our home, but I so miss words of knowledge and encouragement being directly said to us. I think I might go back through my journals of teachings from Greg, Gretchen , and Pastor Rusty and refresh myself.

It has absolutely poured rain today, and from the looks of outside there is more to come. It hasn't been too bad though since W has the vehicle. His car is on its last leg! We know what we want, but haven't found just the right one yet. When we do, it will make our life a little easier.

Last thing. How awesome is it to have an accountant in the family? Our taxes were filed over two weeks ago and we received our refund last week! Praise God for it, too!

2008-01-24T12:17:00.000-08:00

I must confess I would rather be napping at the moment, however my darling daughter wanted to be awake. Early Tuesday morning W was struck with the Egyptian virus, and, well, it was pretty bad. I was determined not to get it, so I made many efforts to keep everything sanitized. Sadly enough, my efforts failed. On Wednesday morning around 1 or 2 am, it began. From that time until mid morning is an absolute blur. W stayed home to watch the children, and maybe every hour and a half or so would bring me Sam so I could nurse her. I was so weak I couldn't even pick her up! My whopping 12lb. little girl. So, I'm better. Just weak... (reason for the desired napping).

I am so saddened by the death of little Bronner Burgess. I don't know if it's the fact that we have a two year old also, but it absolutely grieves me. I am so grateful for the reaction of their family though. Rick's message at Bronner's memorial service was so amazing (you can see it at www.rickandbubba.com ). I don't understand why God allows these things to happen, but as best as I know how I trust that He is God, and He is good.

In closing, my little Sam is holding her head up so good when she is on her tummy! She is close to hip-riding! Not there yet, but I suspect it will be in the next month or so. Also, Saving Sarah Cain is an AMAZING movie! The producers did a wonderful job of capturing the heart of the author (Beverly Lewis - one my my all time faves). In the Love Comes Softly series, they changed so much from the books to the movies that it is almost altogether different, but definite definite kudos to the producers of Saving Sarah Cain.

Weight Watchers

2008-01-19T16:44:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to share with my few readers that tomorrow is my official first day of weight watchers. I joined today and have been reading to get a general understanding of the points system. I'm so excited to see this baby weight come off! My goal is 30lbs. I will hopefully keep the blog posted of my success (so I'm hoping!)

Birthy-ness

2008-01-04T19:44:00.000-08:00

I can't begin to express my current thoughts. I am still amazed that I had natural childbirth with Sam. It was something I wanted to do for so long. After a successful epidural with T-Puppy, it was something I said I could never do. Now, I know this is the route I will take in the future. I *wish* I could sincerely say that it is because I desire it and want the natural way, but as I've written before, my body will no longer accept pain medication... so it's my only option! Now, I'm just trying to learn all I can about it and be more prepared next time. I'm honestly thinking we will skip the hospital all together. I can't say that I am ready for a home birth, but a birthing house seems more appropriate at this time for me. I know what you must be thinking... "good grief, her daughter is only 2 months old!" and touche. That she is. It's just that it is an experience that you never forget, and because of what I experienced, I want to know all I can to better the situation in years to come.

Books on my wish list:
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth - Ina May Gaskin
Spiritual midwifery - Ina May Gaskin
The Thinking Woman's Guide to Childbirth - Henci Goer
Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way
Husband Coached Childbirth: The Bradley Method of Childbirth

Definitely the last one. With both of my labors and deliveries, my husband has been absolutely amazing. T-Puppy's labor was a lot longer, and W was so patient and worked with me the whole way. Sam's was a lot quicker, but obviously more intense. He was so wonderful with telling me when to breathe, holding my hand, encouraging me constantly. With Sam's birth I repeatedly said "I can't do this... I can't do this" and as soon as I would say it, he would return with "Yes, you can... you are doing this... you are doing great Michelle." I am convinced he missed his calling as an OB! :)

In all of this... really, I just want and desire the Lord to show me more of Him. I don't feel like I've ever needed His love and grace as in childbirth. Who knows when the next child may come - only YHWH. Again as I've said before, I want him to birth His Spirit in and through me. From glory to glory, right? 2 Cor. 3:18

Christmas pictures... unedited.

2007-12-13T12:35:00.000-08:00

understanding the things of God

2007-12-11T06:55:00.000-08:00

I'm sure most of you heard about the shootings in Colorado on Sunday, December 9. The first was at a YWAM (Youth With A Mission) and the second was at New Life Church. When W told me on Monday morning it hurt. It was one of those things I could not fathom in my mind. I went to foxnews.com and read the story... and it just absolutely grieved me. I started praying for their families and friends, and the family of the shooter. All day yesterday it was on my mind, and I kept thinking of the scripture "precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints." Psalm 116:15. I am grateful that it was their lives - because they had already spent their lives on the kingdom of God. I would rather it be someone (as Pete Saint said in "the end of the spear") who is ready for heaven die, so the others may have the opportunity for salvation.

But grasping this... understanding this. Where do you begin?

I feel like I pray so many prayers of protection over my family and friends... am I missing it? Would it be more beneficial to pray "God I trust you with these lives"?

I have no idea to any of these questions. I wish I understood the things of God... I pray in time and in each situation He will help me to a little more.

December? Wow.

2007-12-01T09:31:00.000-08:00

I suppose it is true. Today is indeed December 1. As most people, as the new year is around the corner I tend to reflect on the past year. So much has happened. We found out we were pregnant in February! We thought several times at the beginning of the pregnancy that I had miscarried because of some bleeding... only to come out 9 months later with a beautiful bundle of joy named Sam who has brought a whole new dimension to our family. I can't believe she is already six weeks old. She is beginning to coo a lot and smile, too. This is such a precious age, but it goes by so quickly!

On a slightly different note, we have dear friends who are in the process of adopting a son from Ethiopia. I dreamed about this family last night, and in my dream I was trying to find the perfect gift to bless them with. I had so much excitement and anticipation for them to step off the plane with their new addition that I couldn't contain myself.

We are training T-Puppy to have "quiet time" and sit still and not talk for a set amount of time. We are working towards a goal of twenty minutes, however at this point we have successfully made it to five minutes (working our way up). This way if he goes into church with us or a meeting, he can sit still without us having to force it. I say all of this to say in this training, we let him listen to something he would consider boring: our choice, the teaching "Mordecai's Cry" by Jim Goll. As I've been sitting with him, and enjoying the teaching, the spirit of adoption is so present right now. Hearing him talk about Mordecai and Esther, and thinking about our friends adopting from Ethiopia... it's so exciting.

"Pure and undefiled religion is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

W and I were talking a few weeks ago, and I made the comment "you have two children now!" and he responded something like "well, I actually have thirty!". I have to remember that God has indeed entrusted us with an "extra" family right now that we are responsible for - our youth group. I pray the day will come when He will allow us to adopt children into our physical family, however our hands are not empty right now.

The number 8 means new beginnings. I know that 2008 will hold many new beginnings for us (especially as W starts grad school) but I pray there will be many new beginnings in the Holy Spirit as well... I pray this for you, too.

Thanksgiving

2007-11-27T19:51:00.000-08:00

We had a wonderful time in Cashiers, North Carolina for Thanksgiving. Sam traveled wonderful for a 5 week old baby! She did not cry once the entire trip up, and just fussed a little on the trip home. T-Puppy was such a good boy the whole time. Energetic, yes! But that is to be expected of a two year old in a new place. We had a great time just hanging out and...eating. Eating, eating. I guess that didn't help in my attempt to lose baby weight! The picture of me sleeping is not staged. W played golf on Friday and Saturday, and I just relaxed and... obviously, slept. It was so nice to have a vacation. W and I love North Carolina and hope to live there one day! When? Who knows... but it will be great when it happens.

The Newbie Pictures

2007-11-06T15:32:00.001-08:00

I'll try!

2007-11-06T13:28:00.000-08:00

I will try to get in as much as possible about Sam's birth... because she and T-Puppy are both sleeping at the moment. I tried to nap with them, but the sun is just too bright for me to sleep (this is a good problem, right?).

So, we arrived at the hospital at 6am. By 7, my nurse was putting in my IV of fluid and pitocin. Since I was so nervous about the pit, or "vitamin P" as my nurse jokingly called it, I was quite anxious for the epidural. Around 7:30 my doctor came in and broke my water. I was already 4cm and about 60%, so she said I could get the epidural whenever I wanted. I didn't want to experience what I experienced with T-Puppy (the pain... oh the pain...) but little did I know what was coming. The anesthesiologist came in a little after 8 and gave me the epidural. It was so much more intense this time than with T-Pup. Oh my goodness...the pressure. I read in my journal what I experience with T-Pup and I described the epi as "a poke and a sting". No way Jose, not this time. Ok, so back to this birth.

By about 8:40ish, I was really beginning to feel some hard contractions. I told my nurse, because I should have felt them getting weaker, not stronger (b/c of the epi). She increased the dosage, and needless to say, within thirty minutes there was no difference. She called the anesthesiologist back and he tinkered around for a minute, then tells me he thinks it would be best if he did another epidural. You can imagine how happy I was (mucho sarcasm here...). So, I sat up again, went through the whole routine of getting it again. It's now about 9:15am. The anesthesiologist (he really is a great man, so enjoyed his presence there - honestly) stayed in the room with us for most of the remaining part of my labor. He helped keep W and I both focused and was wonderful with telling me to stop talking (or screaming!) and to breathe. Within 10 minutes of the second epidural, I knew it wasn't going to work. And sure enough, it didn't. My contractions were so hard I just kept saying over and over "I can't do this, I can't do this" and at one point told my nurse I just wanted a c-section. She told me (in a "I'm gonna be real with you" way) that the meds they would give me for a c-section were the ones my body was already rejecting... and I would feel it all. So, I dropped that idea quickly!

Even though I was having such hard contractions, it allowed me to progress super quickly. I think that is the "thing" that got me through. With T-Puppy, while trying to go natural, after two hours of hard contractions and NO progress, I became soo discouraged. Overwhelmingly discouraged. So, at least this time I felt like I could "see" some results to my writhing in pain.

I knew there was nothing else they could do, and that I would be delivering her naturally. So, I just tried to stay as focused as I could. I still can't believe I had two failed epidurals. Anyway, the nurse and anesthesiologist stepped out of the room for a minute, and all of a sudden I had the urge to push. I told W and he (in love! a strong husband love!) got in my face and told me that I was indeed NOT going to push and he was indeed NOT going to deliver our baby! The nurse and anesthesiologist came back in and W told them I was talking about pushing, so she checked me and indeed... I was complete. She paged my doctor (whose office is connected to the hospital). I swear it felt like 10 minutes before she came, but Whitney promises me it was only 5. She literally walked in (and I not-so-nicely asked her what took so long...oh the things I say in labor) stepped into her scrub gown, got her gloves on, and in this 20 second process I said "WHEN CAN I PUSH?" (capitalized = screamed) and she said on your next contraction... "I'M CONTRACTING!" -- "Ok Michelle, then push". Funny side note: with T-Pup (and epidural) they counted for me to push (10, 9, 8...) which helped. So, I said "SOMEBODY COUNT FOR ME!" and the anesthesiologist said "1, breathe!" and with that, my little daughter was born. Only one push. Dr. Kakani wasn't even able to get her mask on.

All I can say to describe delivering her was that it was the best and worst feeling I've ever experienced. Best because I knew I was so close to being finished, worst because... I'll just say "the ring of fire".

Afterwards I just laid there and cried. I was so overwhelmed and couldn't comprehend that I had just delivered without pain medication.

The next day the anesthesiologist came in and told us that what happened to me doesn't happen that often, he actually said one-in-a-million. He said my body has an adhesion (possibly created from the epi with Thomas) that prevented the medicines from the epidural from going down. He also said that next time I would need to look into a throacic epidural, which was the only likely thing to work. Then I would be numb from the neck down. This terrifies me. I would rather just do the whole thing natural than go through with all those needles again.

The Lord knew I wanted to experience natural childbirth, I just didn't know He would take me serious. I know that sounds funny, but He took me at my word. That kind of puts things in perspective for me.

Just in time - my two year old is awake. Please pray I would allow the Lord to birth things IN and THROUGH me in the way HE desires. His way is so much better than my own.

Our Baby Girl

2007-11-02T10:19:00.001-07:00

Our baby girl was born on October 18 at 10:37am. Little Sam weighed in at 7lbs. even and 19 inches long. She has been an absolute joy the past two weeks! She nurses like a pro and sleeps hours at a time. She is soo beautiful! I wish I could post more pictures but blogger isn't letting me right now.
I will update soon with the story of her birth. It was definitely an interesting experience that was not planned. If the Lord blesses us with another child... it will be handled differently!

Patiently waiting!

2007-10-16T12:27:00.001-07:00

Ok, or maybe not so patiently. I'm trying though! I'm also trying to keep everything at home taken care of... keeping all the clothes washed, dishwasher unloaded, floors vacuumed. Whenever we go on vacation I clean the house before we leave so when we return it's all nice and... clean. Imagine that mindset times 500 million. I can't stand the thought of coming home from the hospital to things in a mess. I especially can't stand the thought of going to the hospital, having someone come to my house while I'm gone, and things being... not in order. I know some of this is nesting but I do confess some is my ocd. I am trying to be peaceful though! Do you believe me? Honestly... some things aren't worth the fuss or worry. I know this. I also know there is something to being prepared :)

So, tomorrow is our 38 week checkup. I am especially excited because I'm meeting Gretchen afterwards for coffee. I'm looking forward to some good one-on-one time with her! I talked to her last week for the first time in a while and since then... I'll say it's just good to be reminded of some things. In our lives right now, spiritual encouragement isn't always jumping out at us - so when it comes, we graciously receive it.

Well... this little break is going to end now. I'm going to try and rest a few minutes while Thomas is still sleeping. Hope this finds everyone well.

Little update

2007-10-09T15:07:00.001-07:00

This picture was last week (36 weeks) but not much has changed - except gravity. I go tomorrow for my next check (37 weeks) and I'm pretty excited. Thomas was born at 37 weeks and 5 days, so maybe the appointment will help stimulate some labor. I'm also excited because we get to have a min day in Huntsville. Thomas loves to play with the train table at the bookstore, and of course Whitney and I being the nerds we are love any excuse to go to the bookstore. The only quazi negative thing is that my appointment is at 8am. It's a littler better than last week - it was at 7:45. That puts us leaving here no later than 6:45-6:50ish. Traffic gets a little crazy in Huntsville about 7:30, and my doctor's office is in the heart of the medical district, in the heart of the city. Even though we're about the same distance from Nashville, I would rather go to Huntsville any day. Maybe it's the AL in me. Nashville overwhelms me though... too many lanes of traffic.

A sweet family from our church brought us dinner tonight. She made lasagna and said we could put it in the freezer if we wanted, but it really couldn't have come at a better time. Cooking is something I love - but these days being on my feet is the last thing I want. So anyway we are having lasagna, salad, sister schubert's, and shortbread cookies with strawberries and whipped cream for dinner. God bless this family!

I don't really think I have anything else to add. I'm having 4 or 5 good contractions a day, but that is all. Like I said... hopefully going tomorrow will help!

Musings.

2007-10-07T04:56:00.000-07:00

W pointed out to me last night that this is the first weekend in 3 weeks we haven't had company! We had a great time two weeks ago with Joseph, Shelby, and Gabriel and last weekend had a good time with my sister, brother-in-law, and their daughter Addison. We love our friends and familia, but it was nice to wake up this morning and start getting ready for church without having to worried about who would shower when.

Yesterday was a very eventful day. W took me to the church and they surprised me with a baby shower. We were ok before, but now we are definitely prepared to have a little girl. Most people might think this is crazy - but I got 5 diapers bags. I LOVE having options, so I was thrilled. My sister asked if I was taking any back and I think it surprised her how quickly I said no! My 2 favorites are the bigger ones - one is a Vera Bradley, and one is a large lime green bag with khaki trim and a big 'ole M monogrammed in brown on the side. I really like this one because the M can be for my first or last name :) it doesn't have to be for diapers :)

I went to the Doc this past Wednesday, and I am 2cm dilated! I could stay like this for weeks, but it is so nice to know there is a small amount of progress. Sam is measuring two weeks big, so any way you look at it I'm gonna be having a big baby. If I don't go on my own, then they will induce labor on October 19. My blood pressure is a little high so they don't want her to get too big and stay in too long. One of the families we know who was expecting a girl and got a boy - he weighed 9lbs. 6 oz. Wow.

Yesterday afternoon I took a quick nap then W and I went to a wedding for a girl he grew up with. It was nice... and always fun to meet some of his old friends. What is strange is that from what W and I have talked about before is that we were extremely alike in high school. Determined... passionate, zealous... for me to the point of actually losing people as friends because I had more judgment for them and their lifestyles than I did love and grace. What a waste to think back. I say this to say that when I meet his old friends, I can usually compare them to one of my old friends. Interesting. I think it was after my whole sorority experience that I began not to judge... to just see people where they were and love them that way, too. I know for sure after college when we were first married and ministering on the streets a big lesson of it came then, too. I learned you never know someone's story. Just because they were homeless didn't mean they chose that way of life - it was the card they were dealt. How we handle that card is what matters.

Well I am going to wrap this up so I can rest some before I start getting ready for church. We are studying Potiphar's wife today in SS so I hope to brush up on that for a minute too.

Sorry it's been so long.

2007-10-01T14:49:00.000-07:00

This blog is really the last thing on my mind. There are times I enjoy it, but lately it's been more like "urgh I need to update". 3 out of the 4 people I know read it call me weekly so it's not really that... pressing. Anyhow.

T-Pup had his second birthday party a few weeks ago. We had a little pool and slip-n-slide at W's parent's house and did hamburgers and hot dogs with some friends and family. It wasn't near as large as last year, which was nice. I made a train cake that came out not professional, but better than normal for my cakes. T-Puppy has had the most fun with his little four-wheeler he got from his grandparents. He flies that thing down our driveway and inside the house cuts the corners very precisely. I say flies... it is made for children ages 18 months - 3 years, so the maximum speed is probably 1 mph... but he has a good time with it.

We are in full mode awaiting Sam's arrival. T-Puppy seems to be excited about "baby" and is helping out quite a bit. He likes to put his toys in the bassinet and say "baby wants to play with the big truck!" or whichever toy applies. It's so fun to see him excited. I can't wait to see how he interacts with her once she is here.

Our dear friends Greg and Gretchen had their tenth child on Saturday night. They were expecting a girl, however little David Price is the boy that came out! I don't know when we will be able to see them, but I hope it is soon. My... ten children! I know people think "uh, wow..." or some other slightly negative thought, but seriously. To whom much is given much is required. Plus, if you know G&G, who better to raise an army for the Lord?

All for now. Maybe we'll have a birth announcement soon!

Third Trimester

2007-08-06T11:24:00.000-07:00

We're finally here. 7 months. On the homestretch now! I've started my OB checkups twice a month... this just makes it all go a little faster from here for me. I've enjoyed this pregnancy and have had ZERO complications thus far (thank you Jesus!) but this baby girl is low and very much pressing on my lower nerves and extremities. Usually by the end of the evening now I find myself waddling. Also... contractions are very much a part of every day. I'm starting to slow down a bit, sleeping more at night and resting more in the day. Listen, before long I'm gonna be on here asking you to pray for the spirit of deliverance :)

Random thoughts I suppose...

2007-06-27T12:45:00.000-07:00

On no particular subject.

We had a great time at the beach. T-Pup absolutely had a blast - so much so that when we left he actually didn't talk to us for an hour. After that he would acknowledge us but only with a "wahhh" and he would quickly return to looking out the window. Talk about feeling lousy. I am glad he enjoyed it so thoroughly though.

Since that point, we have been busy with church. I was talking to Erin on the phone the other day and realized that W does not have any more trips scheduled any time soon. So nice. I know he is going to be glad for a break, too.

Oh yes! We are having a baby girl. It still hasn't really set in (even though I am 6 months and now obviously pregnant) so I'm wondering when it will become real. I suppose when I am screaming and writhing in labor it might be real. Guess we'll see :). I always heard people say that you forget about the pain of childbirth? How can you?

I have fresh coffee that just finished brewing - so understandably I will end this now :) priorities, my friends. Priorities. Ha! :)

fyi...

2007-05-11T08:48:00.001-07:00

The picture below is the actual bathing suit... just not my body!!

Bathing suit Blues

2007-05-11T08:31:00.000-07:00

First, I feel it is absolutely necessary to say I feel I have the absolute cutest, best bathing maternity suit. My blues come from what is under the suit... and the legs that hang out of it. It's just discouraging. As long as I was nursing, I held onto about 10 extra pounds. This was ok with me, because nursing is extremely important to me and it trumped the extra weight. I had the plan that when I stopped nursing, I would aggressively tackle the extra pounds and get into shape before another little one could be on the radar. Didn't happen. I nursed T-Pup for 18 months, however got pregnant at 16 months. So, the aggressive weight loss didn't happen. I thought maybe I could shed some in the first trimester, but felt so crumby I didn't even want to move. I really feel like this is the hardest part for me... as shallow as it may sound, I've never struggled with my weight. I'm trying to do my part to be healthy and exercise (while just around the house), and I'm ok with that. My health and the baby's health are more important than the way I look. Getting my cute maternity bathing suit in the mail today though has... just brought it all back to the surface.

I know a few of you who read this are not married and actually, are totally hot and beautiful. Please, for all, don't hear me as complaining... it really is hard though, and I'm just trying to share my frustration. Our dear Greg often says "all frustration comes from unfulfilled expectation." Once again, true in my life.

On a lighter note, the baby is moving a lot these days. I am now 4 months. We find out in 4 weeks what the sex is. We are going to keep the name a surprise until birth though. Fun stuff :)

We are going to the beach in 9 days, and boy I am excited. Just to lay on the beach (no matter what I look like) and enjoy the crashing waves and soft sand... hallelujah. Praise Jesus for his creation.

Sleep... or No Sleep?

2007-04-22T22:41:00.000-07:00

I am so sleepy... however unable to sleep. I got into the bed at 10pm sharp, and well, here I am nearly 3 hours later. I've taken a sleepy pill (prego friendly) and played solitaire on my iPod while listening to my lullaby playlist. Still awake. Have you seen the commercials for "RLS" - restless leg syndrome? This is so me. And totally typical of my pregnancies. I had it with T-Pup but thought it was just part of pregnancy. Then, I started seeing the ads and commercials and felt liberated because it's actually a thing. You know, like not just in my mind. I asked my nurse practitioner about it and she kind of gave me a look and told me to take a benadryl before bed. Errr. I really feel like this could all be solved (along with my random back aches) with a chiropractor. Moulaa was my hesitation before for not going, but since my little ER visit in February when we found out we were pregnant, my deductible is about $85 shy of being met... so why not go? Anything to make the next 6.5 months more pleasant. Can I please have an amen...

So my birthday is Friday... big deal, right? I'm just thankful the Lord has allowed me to be here for 24 years. I'm also excited at the possibility that my hubby may be getting me a memory foam pillow (...hoping this will help the sleep thing...).

Saturday there is a Deal or No Deal casting call in Nashville. I soooo want to be on that show! I dreamed last January that I was on it. It wasn't really for the money either, just having a good time. I'm sure the producers would want to fly a pregnant woman and her friends to the show. I really don't want to go to Opry Mills and stand in a line for hours though. Note: if one of you reads this and decides to pursue, I better be one of your friends on the show :) Deal? ....

Going to have a midnight (eh, 1am) snack and head back to the bed. Hopefully, the Lord will place the spirit of rest upon me.

Rainy Saturday

2007-04-14T11:06:00.000-07:00

It is so nice to have a slow day today. It is raining outside and expected to continue to rain for the rest of the day. We have been lounging around reading, watching cartoons, and snacking. Got to love it.

Yesterday was especially busy, the first part of the day (leaving home at 6:15am) spent in Huntsville. We had T-Pup's thyroid level checked and also my OB checkup. We were able to hear the baby's heartbeat, and it was 160. When I was 3 months pregnant with T-Pup his heart rate was 140. Hmmm... a girl possibly? I think it's just a wive's tale that girl's heart rates are faster, but who knows. We'll have our next ultrasound on June 7 to find out the sex. We'll tell that, but the name will be a surprise when it arrives. Anyway, after that we met up with the DeVries family for a few hours at the food court around the play yard. It was fun and refreshing to just be with them.

After we came back to P-town, we showered and got dressed for an evening out. W's parents came and picked Thomas up and shortly thereafter my dear friend Kara arrived with her Beau (that we had not yet met). We drove to Franklin and ate dinner at PF Chang's. It was my first time to eat there, and may I say, WOW! It was so good. The lettuce wraps were all that everyone made them out to be. I had doubts (being the picky eater I am) but it was sooo amazing. For my en tree I had lemon chicken with broccoli, and it also was top notch. Matt (Kara's beau) ordered us coconut ice cream w/raspberry sauce for desert.... and once again, amazing. We went to Starbuck's for just a bit to get coffee and wrap up our time together. It was so much fun and nice to have an evening out. By the time we were on our way back though W and I both were chomping at the bit to pick T-Pup up.

It was a little much to pack all into one day, but it was a good day. I think that is why I'm enjoying today so much :)

As for now, I'm heading back to the couch to read some more of "The Confession" by Beverly Lewis.

Schnitzel

2007-03-30T11:50:00.000-07:00

Cordon Bleu was my dinner last night at Ol' Heidelberg. It was a fried veal stuffed with ham and jarlsberg cheese. Absolutely amazing. This was actually our first time to eat German food, and we enjoyed it throughly. The only bad thing is that I began to feel a little carsick on the way home and shortly thereafter lost my Schnitzel. Contrary to popular belief, this had nothing to do with pregnancy. Just riding in the backseat for an hour.

I can't really think of anything else to write about right now... maybe later... maybe not.

Everyone is sleeping...

2007-03-20T21:09:00.000-07:00

except for me.

I have come to the conclusion that I would rather read other's blogs instead of posting my own. I feel like mine are bleh and have a lack of profoundness. Hmm.

I am trying to think of fun things to write about, but all I seem to want to write are my current worries...fears...pet peaves. I don't want to gripe and complain so I'm trying to avoid this topic.

T-Puppy has been so sweet over the past few weeks. He is so sweet to tell me "thank you mama" when I give him anything - from a napkin to a cookie. He is so grateful. He is the most considerate toddler I have ever seen. I'm not just being bias here. He is so good about randomly telling me he loves me and giving me hugs and kisses. It's so exciting to see his little personality developing and his vocabulary expanding so he can better express himself.

W and I had chicken salad tonight for dinner with some wheat crackers and a side of green beans. It so hit the spot. I felt accomplished today because I didn't have any pregnancy nausea and was able to have the house picked up and dinner cooked when he got home. The past few weeks it hasn't been quite as conventional... but we're trying to go with the flow. As I've been experiencing this morning sickness, I've realized how truly methodical I am. It has frustrated me not being able to perform my daily tasks as usual. Frustrated me more than I ever would have imagined. I'm trying to stay joyful and like I said, go with the flow, but truth be known I'm beginning to think I have a little OCD in me. Is there anything wrong with wanting to have my floors mopped each week? ;)

You know (whoever you may be...), the more I learn about myself as this journey called life goes on, the more I realize I need Jesus so much more than I even know.

#2 is on the way!

2007-02-28T12:41:00.000-08:00

That's right. We're super excited and I'm super exhausted. T-Pup is so busy at his grand 18 months of age + I'm still nursing + a pregnancy! I'm really trying to be responsible with my time, but the past few days I've hit the bed between 9 and 9:30. I took about a 30 minute nap while T-Puppy was sleeping today and woke up thinking of all the things I needed to do... but not really any more rested than when I layed down. Praise God though! And I haven't been sick ANY! This is the exact opposite of my pregnancy with T-Pup when throwing up was a normal part of my day.

I'm going to try and be industrious...

Ski-Mania

2007-02-13T08:50:00.000-08:00

Well, we have returned safe and sound from our ski trip to Indiana. This was my first time skiing, and I must say I enjoyed it. I am the absolute master of the Bunny Slope. There is none above me (literally, they all passed me so fast that everyone is below me). I played the 'mom-of-the-trip' role, preparing meals, cleaning up, and shutting the door behind the youth. I was a little nervous about quantity of food, and it turns out I had just enough for everything. That was the problem. Not much extra. With teenage boys I now know to plan for double the amount of guys that will be there.

As much as I enjoyed skiing, it is not the experience I would like to document in detail. I am also going to make an attempt to practice some old school descriptive writing. This story will not be any good without adjectives and an accurate account of my adventure. So, sit back, enjoy, and hopefully get a laugh or two.

A Story of Survival at Paoli Peaks - by michellemitch

My adventure began early on a Saturday morning. You see, I had never snow skied before. Heck, I have never successfully water skied. W had some errands to take care of, so several of our youth took me under their wings. I began my not so graceful descent down the mountain only to make it about 3 feet before falling. The next 15 minutes I attempted to get up. Attempted. I have no idea what hold gravity had on me, but it was a pretty good grip. I was finally able to roll over and stand as Kathryne put her skis on top of mine to prevent further sliding. I practiced the "pizza" for an extended amount of time, only to find that this maneuver did indeed give me control of my speed and lower extremities. I continued down the slope, using the pizza every other second, until I reached the bottom. Then! The chairlift. Such an exciting and scary thing. I am proud to say that I sat down and enjoyed the ride, and when it came time to ski off of the lift, I did great. I even made the turn! So, the worst was behind me on the slopes. I continued the bunny slope for a while, completely successful, dashing in and out of the crowds (ok, maybe not so much) but I had it under control. I then try the beginner slopes, and decide the bunny is for me... for the time being. Whitney then joins me, and we ski the bunny together, ride the chairlift together, and have a great husband-wife-bunny-slope-experience. He gave me pointers along the way and helped better my experience simply with his presence.

So... it's getting close to lunch time and I'm ready to go check on T-Pup and eat some cheddar-broccoli soup. I tell W this, and he agrees to ski down to our cabin, get my vehicle, drive back to the lodge, and let me go back (obviously skiing to the cabin is not an option for me). So, I ski the bunny for a little while longer, thinking he should be back by now. I then proceed to go into the lodge, turn my skis and boots in... but wait. Where are my shoes? Rachel put them in the locker with her and Kathryne's shoes. So, I call. It is said they are in locker 599. I search high and low, and to my dismay, cannot find locker 599.

I'm afraid W is waiting in the car for me outside, so I decide to walk in my wool socks to the parking lot. Well, when people come in and out of the lodge, the snow off of their skis melts. So, the ground is wet. And it is 15 degrees outside. I charge into the wilderness at any rate, searching for W. I don't see him anywhere, so I think maybe he has left my vehicle in the parking lot with the keys in the console. My feet are throbbing only 3 minutes into this. I'm scared of frostbite. I'm scared of what people are thinking about this poor girl searching for her vehicle in this 24 acre parking lot in wet sock feet in 15 degree weather. I make it down the hill and still do not see my explorer, when low and behold, I see the church bus. I went and took a break from my hiking by sitting on the back of the bus for a few minutes, and said a pretty desperate prayer asking for guidance, direction, and my husband.

I then start to search again for my vehicle, but my feet hurt so bad from the gravel and cold that I can't walk anymore. I then decide it will be easier to walk if I put my feet in my gloves and walk in them. But, my feet wouldn't fit all the way in so I am tip-toeing through the parking lot. At this point, I almost rejoice because I see grass. I make my way through the rows of cars to begin my trek on some easier terrain.

Needless to say, my car was parked at the absolute end of the parking lot. I thanked God for my number pad on the side and pushed in the code. I then got inside of my car, prayed, and turned around to see what all was in the car. Seriously, God is so good. This sounds crazy I know, but on the back seat was a clean, dry pair of socks! I took my frozen socks off, replaced them with the dry ones, and wrapped a hand towel around my feet while trying to regain feeling in my toes. I then noticed a two-day old mocha frappachino (the bottled kind) and I considered my options... and remembered the temperature had not exceeded 25 degrees in the past two days. I gulped it down slowly, to insure I savored every moment of it. I then noticed a container I had packed for T-Pup of bug bite cookies, and quickly devoured them. I then make a few calls, to make sure people knew where I was in case they spoke with W. I then took about a 30 minute nap, still in my ski bibs and jacket, when my phone rings. I don't recognize the number so I get a little discouraged, but when I answer - voila! It was the voice I was longing to hear. My sweet husband.

He thought I would wait for him on the slopes.

I thought he would pick me up.

Needless to say, I survived in the parking lot of Paoli Peaks.

My little niece Addison

2007-02-07T11:47:00.000-08:00

Addison Faye McDow
February 6, 2007 2:32pm
9lbs. 2oz. 21"

Congratulations Melissa and David!

Just a thought...

2007-01-30T12:01:00.000-08:00

One time Greg was preaching (I believe from Numbers 11) and he was talking about the fire of God... you have two options:

1) be consumed with it
2) be consumed by it.

I listened to a podcast this morning from our old church and Pastor Wayne Benson (not too sure who he is) was preaching on yet again... the fire of God, and he said the following...

1) the fire of God will comfort the afflicted
2) the fire of God will afflict the comfortable

There's something to it.

"Breathe"

2007-01-29T11:08:00.000-08:00

by Anna Nalick is an amazing song. The lyrics are amazing... and remind me of my family. Immediate and extended -- the Bride.

People... if you know nothing about me - here is a window into my soul:

I think too much.

So frustrating... it's not something you can't do, but it's hard to stop once I start.

Jellyfish

2007-01-17T06:31:00.000-08:00

I was able to watch the sunrise this morning. Can you take a guess at how long it has been since I've done that? I can't even tell you. It's been at least 17 months. I take every ounce of sleep I can get while T-Puppy is sleeping, which usually means waking anywhere between 8-9. As far as rising early and going to my solitary place... it's usually once T-Pup has had breakfast and is playing that I get to sit down and spend some time with the Lord. It was such a treat though to see the sunrise. I was reading in "Let Me Be A Woman" by Elisabeth Elliot, and I had totally new revelation. She says:

"The jellyfish and tiger know what they were made for. They, with all the sea monsters and all deeps, fire and hail, snow and frost, mountains and hills, beasts and all cattle, praise the Lord. By being a jellyfish, the jellyfish glorifies its Creator, for by being a jellyfish it fulfills its Creator's command."

So... who wants to be a jellyfish? (Sounds like a strange gameshow!). Rest in the fact today that you were created to glorify your Creator. Get up early and watch the sunrise. Walk in the image you were made in.

...it encouraged me, hope it can do the same for you :)

Remeber when?

2007-01-08T08:25:00.000-08:00

Remember when my son was this small? Wow.

This past weekend, W had a overnight retreat to go to so I decided to leave town as well. T-Pup and I traveled together to Mtgy. He actually did really well. I definitely missed my hubby's presence though - as for us it is so much easier to travel with both parents. This weekend was my brother's last weekend at home - he left this morning for SOI (School of Infantry) and will be there for about 2 months. Also, an old friend from high school got married. I knew I would see some old faces, but I had no idea I would see nearly every face I haven't seen in 4-5 years.

I feel comfortable enough saying it was maximum overload for me. There were high school friends. There were college friends. There were the people who there was never friendship with because I wasn't in the party crowd. There was even a woman who somewhat chewed me out... yes. After speaking with her for a while I figured out there was a bit of bitterness for not being invited to my wedding. I guess she has had to hold in that frustration for nearly 3 years and then let it out as soon as she saw me. Crazy.

In the midst of all of this - I'm praying. Lord, please, somehow encourage me and let me encourage. Back in those days I was all about letting people know that my life was different from theirs. Now, not so much. My life is my life. I walk it each day as close to the Spirit of God as I can...but not perfect in any way. But, I don't want to "rub it in" anyone's faces. I would rather them see it, desire it, and walk the same way.

So... that was that. It was great to see my friend get hitched, and was great to see some old faces (and faces that I still communicate with - Stacy! And her belly with baby Captain Jack).

Spending time with my brother was... well, I'll say this. All frustration comes from unfulfilled expectation. I can't not love him, but some of the decisions he makes... he chooses to make them. I'm searching for the place to see him as the Lord sees him, to interceed for him as the Spirit does. To love him in spite of bad decisions. I long to be in that place with everyone in my life.

It's always good to travel, but it's always better to be home. I loved the moment of walking into our house, smelling that smell (a vanilla-cinnamon type smell), and just know that we're home. Back in our little cleft of the rock, our refuge... our abode in which we abide (couldn't leave it out, haha). T-Puppy is still adjusting. The day after traveling is usually rough for him, getting back into routine and all. Last night he was so restless - I think when W comes home for lunch we might take a power nap while Thomas is sleeping :) at least I will.

Well, my readers (all 4 of you) - continue in brotherly love.

I wish I could sleep

2006-12-26T20:58:00.000-08:00

My big man and little man are sleeping fast away. I was close to being there nearly an hour ago, then my phone rang. Err. I wasn't too annoyed though because it was my sister concerned about my mom. Her ringer was off on her phone so... she hadn't answered it all night. All is fine though.

Just as an FYI, we have the new version of Mozilla Firefox and I don't like it. If I misspell something on here, it underlines it like it would do in Word or something. I'd rather do a spell check at the end than see little streaks of red under my words.

So... my brother is officially a United States Marine. Last week was filled with much joy and pride (good pride... as in proud of him). After his graduation all of our family made the trek to TN to spend a few nights here. We celebrated our Champion Christmas on Saturday morning, and they all left later that afternoon. He'll leave January 8 to head to Camp LeJune for ITB = Infantry Training Batallion. I went running with him on Saturday morning... and thoroughly enjoyed it. I couldn't stay caught up with him the entire time, but kept a good pace. It encouraged me to continue running... and now we are looking into one of those seemingly fancy jogging strollers.

To my complete surprise, W bought me an iPod for Christmas. I was really shocked, because I wasn't expecting one at all. I'm excited though because when this stroller does come about, it will be nice to have some tunes to strap to my arm while working out.

I feel spiritually empty right now, and don't really even feel like filling myself. Encouraging myself in the Lord is one of the hardest things for me to do. I'm going to listen to Heather Clark tonight (Glorious Praise - my 2nd favorite album of hers, #1 being Dark Yet Lovely) and maybe that will help me to rest well and encourage me some. Does anyone know what I'm talking about or is it just a Michelle complex? IE... if I want to dream crazy spiritual dreams, putting in Jason Upton is the way to go. Who knows. The Spirit searches all things... even the deep things of God.

Please don't taste laundry soap

2006-11-08T13:55:00.000-08:00

So I'm extremely exicted about my "big" Christmas present from W's parents this year. I had trouble deciding, and after a few toss and turn nights the past few weeks, I have decided on a featherbed to put on top of our mattress. It looks absolutely amazing! I picked it out from overstock.com and am supposedly getting a savings of 68%. Another bonus, it comes with the removable / washable cover. Yet another bonus - only $1 shipping. Amazing. I can't wait until I "get" it on Christmas to see if it lives up to my expectations. I'll be sure to keep you posted :)

Changing subjects, I'm a little frustrated with the GOP. I'm a little more frustrated with the Democrats. I'm really just wanting our country to be united. For the compassion of the Democrats and the justice of the Republicans to be married. It's so hard to understand. I have a new interest in the military with my brother being shipped to his MOS within 8 months. Thankfully he is still at Parris Island, and then has his MCT (military combat training) but I want to be able to trust our government as far as he is concerned. I suppose the bigger trust issue here is trusting YHWH with his life ultimately.

I am super excited about going to Parris Island to see him graduate though. I've always wanted to go there - but I never thought it would be to see my lil bro officially become a Marine.

We're doing extensive traveling to and fro Montgomery over Thanksgiving. Please pray for us.

Well... I think thats about all. If anyone cares, the Apple Mango Tango Gain laundry detergent is absolutely amazing. I'm a long time Gain fan, so I am proud to endorse this new flavor-well, scent. Don't eat it... I don't endorse that.

a little better

2006-10-23T13:15:00.000-07:00

Things are going a bit better around my family. Today is my sister's one week anniversary of being married. She really seems to enjoy the homemaking part of it. I have not talked to my mom in 5 days - we normally talk at least twice a day. I've tried to call but she doesn't want to talk to me. She says that I'm not loyal to her. I'm praying on what to tell Matthew in my next letter to him. I don't want him to be stressed out by all of this while he is at boot camp. I'm positive he has enough on him.

In my immediate family of W and T-Puppy, all seems to be well on the western front. I got sick on Friday night and felt rough most of Saturday. W did a good job of taking care of me. Then Saturday we picked up Mekia (w's parents dog) and she had the egyptian virus all Saturday night. Thankfully she was confined to the kitchen. You can imagine what it smelled like Sunday morning in here. When we got home from church I laid T-Pup down for his nap, W took Mekia out, and I sprayed each poopy and vomit spot with cleaner, boiled water + pine sol on the stove, and had 3 candles burning. I'm telling you it was rough. T-Pup won't be getting a pet until he can take full responsibility of it! :) (or until I'm persuaded otherwise).

I can't really think of much else to write. I think the college bible study should be good tonight... we're talking about reckless abandonment and what that entails. I found some really neat things this morning when I was preparing for it, but I'll save that for another day.

I'll take any family advice you're willing to give.

family feud

2006-10-16T14:40:00.000-07:00

it's driving me crazy.

my 18 year old sister is now married.

my brother is really going to be a marine... it has just become real to me. he will probably go into a war region.

my mother... I don't know what to say.

me... I'm tired of being the negotiator for all of them. it's sressing me out.

Just a Wednesday

2006-10-04T10:37:00.000-07:00

My friend Heather that was my summer missions partner in South Carolina is getting married next Saturday, October 14. I am so excited about going back to SC! We are leaving Friday morning (4 or 5am) and driving. It's about an 8 hour drive, so hopefully we'll still have a good bit of the day to spend once we get there. And, I'm hoping with it staying dark until 6:30 that T-Puppy will sleep that extra time. When we came back from GA in January he literally cried from Atlanta to Huntsville. Now that he is older and facing the front hopefully we'll have a better experience.

I woke up about an hour and a half before W and T-Pup this morning. I had some good time with the Lord, folded two loads of laundry, unloaded + reloaded the dishwasher, and started another load all before they woke up. It was soooo nice and felt amazing to be so productive all before 8:30. I have become soo bad at staying in bed until T-Pup wakes up... which is usually 8:30-9:00! I seem so tired in the mornings though. You would think I'd stayed up half the night before, but in all reality we're in bed by 10:30-11:00. It's crazy. I'm praying that today will help in motivating me in future mornings.

So my brother is on day 8 of his 13 week Parris Island boot camp. According to the training matrix, today he is going through Customs and Courtships. Whatever that means, who knows. Tomorrow is bayonet techniques and first aid 1. I'm sure I'm having more fun here at home than he is there. We got his address on Monday, and I mailed out his first letter on Tuesday. I hope he'll write, but with it being my brother, again, who knows.

My sister found out last week that she is having a baby girl. They are planning to name her Addison Faye, and call her Addie. I think it's sweet. She is enjoying feeling Addie move a lot now, and her belly is starting to round nicely.

T-Puppy and I just got back from a trip outside (or as he says "siiiiiiiiiiide"). It was not a normal trip... he wore a t-shirt and old shoes. That's it. Bare bottom. He has an icky case of diaper rash. My homemade wipes haven't helped at all, and the acidophilus I'm taking doesn't seem to be helping either. He's had diarrhea for almost a week now, but is acting normal... so I'm guessing it has to do with teething. He is getting his canines in. As for now, he's prancing around in an old fashioned cloth diaper. It's cute with the little safety pins sticking out the side. A little makeshift... but whatever works.

Well... I guess thats all. I hope all 3 of my readers enjoy. Hopefully I'll post again soon.

The day after

2006-08-28T08:25:00.000-07:00

Well, since I know you all (a possible 2, maybe 3 people) are waiting on the edge of your seats to hear how T-Puppy's party went.... it was great. I couldn't have asked for anything better for our little man's first birthday party. The cakes turned out great, everyone (eh, most) of our guests mingled well, and T-Pup had fun... except when he fell into his new toybox. Still not sure how he managed that one. But, as I thought, I'm glad it's over. I'm getting better at " hosting events" and hospitality, but still have so far to go. I wish it were an overnight process that I could learn to put things together and it be an amazing hit (whether baby shower, supper club, or birthday party), but... that would be a long hard night. I suppose as with most things it's best to enjoy the process. I can't wait to put up some pictures from his party. He was soo cute smashing his little fingers into the birthday cake. So sweet. Next year I'm sure he'll have a fork in his hand and be all grown up.

So last night I had what seemed to be a never-ending dream. It was regarding my past, and a person of my past. It frustrated me so... and I have no idea why I continue to have these dreams (this is at least the third or fourth one in the past 2-3 years). W and I talked about it... but I'm still so -ahhhhhhhh- at even dreaming these things. Why can't we control our dreams? And now today it seems to be all that I can think about... which only dampens my already soggy mood.

I've had two cups of coffee this morning, which is an all time high for the past year. Nursing babies and drinking coffee just don't work well together for me. I wish there were some politically correct way to do both. There usually never is. That's why we have conservative and liberal :)

babies everywhere

2006-08-23T09:49:00.000-07:00

I can't think of a title right now, so maybe by the end of the post I'll have one. I can't believe today is already Wednesday. Time seems to fly by at such a rapid speed. I am beginning to realize more and more that our time on earth is indeed a mere glimpse of eternity. Isn't that wild? That in itself is what the Lord has been showing me concerning my thoughts of the future... and whatever happens on this earth, use it to produce character in me... for now and eternity.

So that might have been a small tangent, but all is well. We found out this week our friends Alan and Maranda are having two baby twin girls (). There are pregnancies everywhere I look... my sister, our cousin Amanda, Stacy W., Heather F., Alan and Maranda, Barbara S... it's amazing. I'm really looking forward to our next one. I really want T-Pup to have a little playmate. It'll be at least a few more months though. Maternity rider won't be over until December, and I really want to go skiing in February with W and the youth group... and rafting next summer, but that might be stretching it.

So birthday plans are going well. I'm excited more than anything now. My family isn't going to be able to make it, but I understand and hope to send them a DVD of the party.

I tried to upload a picture of me and t-pup, but it wouldn't work... maybe next time.

Birthday Blues

2006-08-21T07:58:00.002-07:00

Well, several people have asked if I'm sad or upset that T-Pup is on the verge of his first birthday. This is absurd to me. I'm just as excited as he is! I'm even excited at all of the new goodies he'll be getting. However, what I am a little apprehensive over is the actual birthday party. I wanted it to be a small, sweet setting.... in our home, where he could get down and play, etc. Our family here is HUGE, but we could still handle the smaller party here. But, then I remembered the others we wanted to invite... a few of our friends, a couple youth and their families... and next thing you know I've mailed out 24 invitations.

So, after some prayer I realized we could still handle this. I know. We'll have it at the church. Whit checks and the fellowship hall is open. Ok, cool. I'm doing the party Sunday from 2-4, so we won't have to have any real food - just cake, ice cream, and drinks. I've always wanted to make my children's birthday cakes... just a natural thing, I think. Now, I'm having dreams about this cake! It falling apart... or tasting bad... or not being cute... but in the day time I'm not worried about it. It's a pretty simple cake, with most of the decorations being put on there. The hardest part of decorating will be the crumb coat and top coat of white icing. Come on, this is 8th grade home ec stuff. There isn't any icing bag decoration, save "gluing" the decorations on with icing. I'm trying to be peaceful... :)

So, this week will consist of preparations for Sunday, and the normal homely duties I love and enjoy.

bah hum

2006-08-18T16:28:00.000-07:00

soo . . . I'm a little frustrated with the world... my immediate sphere of influence to be exact. I know who I think I am, but in reality it doesn't ever seem to add up. It seems I'm always one step behind. I don't really know how to change it, and I don't necessarily want to accept it. I don't think I'm content, but I really don't think I'm complacent. Is there a medium? I know 1 Timothy 6:6 a hundred times over. But the only gain I ever seem to experience is weight. I do have joy... it just seems shallow. And sporadic. I want the joy of the Lord. I want to be filled with it so much so that nothing else matters... unlike now where it seems everything else matters but the joy of the Lord.

We delivered T-Pup's cute little birthday invitations today. I'm excited about his party but a little nervous too... I'm making the cakes so I feel a little pressured. I really wanted his party to be small and intimate, and it's going to be the opposite. Many people. The thought of living in a town where we 2 or 3 people is actually appealing to me... wild, I know. On the flip side I enjoy all of the family here. I've never really experienced it before, so it's a blessing.

We are going to the high school football game tonight... first of the season. I'm looking forward to it. I've tried on 10 different outfits and none fit my current mood... I'm such a girl.

It's all for you...Megan

2006-06-14T12:06:00.000-07:00

Well... I thought about making one of these before. Then yet another time. Then, decided against it. So, why am I? Megan Eileen... so I can comment on your blog.