Sleep... or No Sleep?

I am so sleepy... however unable to sleep. I got into the bed at 10pm sharp, and well, here I am nearly 3 hours later. I've taken a sleepy pill (prego friendly) and played solitaire on my iPod while listening to my lullaby playlist. Still awake. Have you seen the commercials for "RLS" - restless leg syndrome? This is so me. And totally typical of my pregnancies. I had it with T-Pup but thought it was just part of pregnancy. Then, I started seeing the ads and commercials and felt liberated because it's actually a thing. You know, like not just in my mind. I asked my nurse practitioner about it and she kind of gave me a look and told me to take a benadryl before bed. Errr. I really feel like this could all be solved (along with my random back aches) with a chiropractor. Moulaa was my hesitation before for not going, but since my little ER visit in February when we found out we were pregnant, my deductible is about $85 shy of being met... so why not go? Anything to make the next 6.5 months more pleasant. Can I please have an amen...

So my birthday is Friday... big deal, right? I'm just thankful the Lord has allowed me to be here for 24 years. I'm also excited at the possibility that my hubby may be getting me a memory foam pillow (...hoping this will help the sleep thing...).

Saturday there is a Deal or No Deal casting call in Nashville. I soooo want to be on that show! I dreamed last January that I was on it. It wasn't really for the money either, just having a good time. I'm sure the producers would want to fly a pregnant woman and her friends to the show. I really don't want to go to Opry Mills and stand in a line for hours though. Note: if one of you reads this and decides to pursue, I better be one of your friends on the show :) Deal? ....

Going to have a midnight (eh, 1am) snack and head back to the bed. Hopefully, the Lord will place the spirit of rest upon me.

Rainy Saturday

It is so nice to have a slow day today. It is raining outside and expected to continue to rain for the rest of the day. We have been lounging around reading, watching cartoons, and snacking. Got to love it.

Yesterday was especially busy, the first part of the day (leaving home at 6:15am) spent in Huntsville. We had T-Pup's thyroid level checked and also my OB checkup. We were able to hear the baby's heartbeat, and it was 160. When I was 3 months pregnant with T-Pup his heart rate was 140. Hmmm... a girl possibly? I think it's just a wive's tale that girl's heart rates are faster, but who knows. We'll have our next ultrasound on June 7 to find out the sex. We'll tell that, but the name will be a surprise when it arrives. Anyway, after that we met up with the DeVries family for a few hours at the food court around the play yard. It was fun and refreshing to just be with them.

After we came back to P-town, we showered and got dressed for an evening out. W's parents came and picked Thomas up and shortly thereafter my dear friend Kara arrived with her Beau (that we had not yet met). We drove to Franklin and ate dinner at PF Chang's. It was my first time to eat there, and may I say, WOW! It was so good. The lettuce wraps were all that everyone made them out to be. I had doubts (being the picky eater I am) but it was sooo amazing. For my en tree I had lemon chicken with broccoli, and it also was top notch. Matt (Kara's beau) ordered us coconut ice cream w/raspberry sauce for desert.... and once again, amazing. We went to Starbuck's for just a bit to get coffee and wrap up our time together. It was so much fun and nice to have an evening out. By the time we were on our way back though W and I both were chomping at the bit to pick T-Pup up.

It was a little much to pack all into one day, but it was a good day. I think that is why I'm enjoying today so much :)

As for now, I'm heading back to the couch to read some more of "The Confession" by Beverly Lewis.

Schnitzel

Cordon Bleu was my dinner last night at Ol' Heidelberg. It was a fried veal stuffed with ham and jarlsberg cheese. Absolutely amazing. This was actually our first time to eat German food, and we enjoyed it throughly. The only bad thing is that I began to feel a little carsick on the way home and shortly thereafter lost my Schnitzel. Contrary to popular belief, this had nothing to do with pregnancy. Just riding in the backseat for an hour.

I can't really think of anything else to write about right now... maybe later... maybe not.

Everyone is sleeping...

except for me.

I have come to the conclusion that I would rather read other's blogs instead of posting my own. I feel like mine are bleh and have a lack of profoundness. Hmm.

I am trying to think of fun things to write about, but all I seem to want to write are my current worries...fears...pet peaves. I don't want to gripe and complain so I'm trying to avoid this topic.

T-Puppy has been so sweet over the past few weeks. He is so sweet to tell me "thank you mama" when I give him anything - from a napkin to a cookie. He is so grateful. He is the most considerate toddler I have ever seen. I'm not just being bias here. He is so good about randomly telling me he loves me and giving me hugs and kisses. It's so exciting to see his little personality developing and his vocabulary expanding so he can better express himself.

W and I had chicken salad tonight for dinner with some wheat crackers and a side of green beans. It so hit the spot. I felt accomplished today because I didn't have any pregnancy nausea and was able to have the house picked up and dinner cooked when he got home. The past few weeks it hasn't been quite as conventional... but we're trying to go with the flow. As I've been experiencing this morning sickness, I've realized how truly methodical I am. It has frustrated me not being able to perform my daily tasks as usual. Frustrated me more than I ever would have imagined. I'm trying to stay joyful and like I said, go with the flow, but truth be known I'm beginning to think I have a little OCD in me. Is there anything wrong with wanting to have my floors mopped each week? ;)

You know (whoever you may be...), the more I learn about myself as this journey called life goes on, the more I realize I need Jesus so much more than I even know.

#2 is on the way!

That's right. We're super excited and I'm super exhausted. T-Pup is so busy at his grand 18 months of age + I'm still nursing + a pregnancy! I'm really trying to be responsible with my time, but the past few days I've hit the bed between 9 and 9:30. I took about a 30 minute nap while T-Puppy was sleeping today and woke up thinking of all the things I needed to do... but not really any more rested than when I layed down. Praise God though! And I haven't been sick ANY! This is the exact opposite of my pregnancy with T-Pup when throwing up was a normal part of my day.

I'm going to try and be industrious...

Ski-Mania

Well, we have returned safe and sound from our ski trip to Indiana. This was my first time skiing, and I must say I enjoyed it. I am the absolute master of the Bunny Slope. There is none above me (literally, they all passed me so fast that everyone is below me). I played the 'mom-of-the-trip' role, preparing meals, cleaning up, and shutting the door behind the youth. I was a little nervous about quantity of food, and it turns out I had just enough for everything. That was the problem. Not much extra. With teenage boys I now know to plan for double the amount of guys that will be there.


As much as I enjoyed skiing, it is not the experience I would like to document in detail. I am also going to make an attempt to practice some old school descriptive writing. This story will not be any good without adjectives and an accurate account of my adventure. So, sit back, enjoy, and hopefully get a laugh or two.


A Story of Survival at Paoli Peaks - by michellemitch



My adventure began early on a Saturday morning. You see, I had never snow skied before. Heck, I have never successfully water skied. W had some errands to take care of, so several of our youth took me under their wings. I began my not so graceful descent down the mountain only to make it about 3 feet before falling. The next 15 minutes I attempted to get up. Attempted. I have no idea what hold gravity had on me, but it was a pretty good grip. I was finally able to roll over and stand as Kathryne put her skis on top of mine to prevent further sliding. I practiced the "pizza" for an extended amount of time, only to find that this maneuver did indeed give me control of my speed and lower extremities. I continued down the slope, using the pizza every other second, until I reached the bottom. Then! The chairlift. Such an exciting and scary thing. I am proud to say that I sat down and enjoyed the ride, and when it came time to ski off of the lift, I did great. I even made the turn! So, the worst was behind me on the slopes. I continued the bunny slope for a while, completely successful, dashing in and out of the crowds (ok, maybe not so much) but I had it under control. I then try the beginner slopes, and decide the bunny is for me... for the time being. Whitney then joins me, and we ski the bunny together, ride the chairlift together, and have a great husband-wife-bunny-slope-experience. He gave me pointers along the way and helped better my experience simply with his presence.

So... it's getting close to lunch time and I'm ready to go check on T-Pup and eat some cheddar-broccoli soup. I tell W this, and he agrees to ski down to our cabin, get my vehicle, drive back to the lodge, and let me go back (obviously skiing to the cabin is not an option for me). So, I ski the bunny for a little while longer, thinking he should be back by now. I then proceed to go into the lodge, turn my skis and boots in... but wait. Where are my shoes? Rachel put them in the locker with her and Kathryne's shoes. So, I call. It is said they are in locker 599. I search high and low, and to my dismay, cannot find locker 599.

I'm afraid W is waiting in the car for me outside, so I decide to walk in my wool socks to the parking lot. Well, when people come in and out of the lodge, the snow off of their skis melts. So, the ground is wet. And it is 15 degrees outside. I charge into the wilderness at any rate, searching for W. I don't see him anywhere, so I think maybe he has left my vehicle in the parking lot with the keys in the console. My feet are throbbing only 3 minutes into this. I'm scared of frostbite. I'm scared of what people are thinking about this poor girl searching for her vehicle in this 24 acre parking lot in wet sock feet in 15 degree weather. I make it down the hill and still do not see my explorer, when low and behold, I see the church bus. I went and took a break from my hiking by sitting on the back of the bus for a few minutes, and said a pretty desperate prayer asking for guidance, direction, and my husband.

I then start to search again for my vehicle, but my feet hurt so bad from the gravel and cold that I can't walk anymore. I then decide it will be easier to walk if I put my feet in my gloves and walk in them. But, my feet wouldn't fit all the way in so I am tip-toeing through the parking lot. At this point, I almost rejoice because I see grass. I make my way through the rows of cars to begin my trek on some easier terrain.

Needless to say, my car was parked at the absolute end of the parking lot. I thanked God for my number pad on the side and pushed in the code. I then got inside of my car, prayed, and turned around to see what all was in the car. Seriously, God is so good. This sounds crazy I know, but on the back seat was a clean, dry pair of socks! I took my frozen socks off, replaced them with the dry ones, and wrapped a hand towel around my feet while trying to regain feeling in my toes. I then noticed a two-day old mocha frappachino (the bottled kind) and I considered my options... and remembered the temperature had not exceeded 25 degrees in the past two days. I gulped it down slowly, to insure I savored every moment of it. I then noticed a container I had packed for T-Pup of bug bite cookies, and quickly devoured them. I then make a few calls, to make sure people knew where I was in case they spoke with W. I then took about a 30 minute nap, still in my ski bibs and jacket, when my phone rings. I don't recognize the number so I get a little discouraged, but when I answer - voila! It was the voice I was longing to hear. My sweet husband.

He thought I would wait for him on the slopes.

I thought he would pick me up.

Needless to say, I survived in the parking lot of Paoli Peaks.

My little niece Addison

Addison Faye McDow
February 6, 2007 2:32pm
9lbs. 2oz. 21"

Congratulations Melissa and David!

Just a thought...

One time Greg was preaching (I believe from Numbers 11) and he was talking about the fire of God... you have two options:

1) be consumed with it
2) be consumed by it.

I listened to a podcast this morning from our old church and Pastor Wayne Benson (not too sure who he is) was preaching on yet again... the fire of God, and he said the following...

1) the fire of God will comfort the afflicted
2) the fire of God will afflict the comfortable

There's something to it.

"Breathe"

by Anna Nalick is an amazing song. The lyrics are amazing... and remind me of my family. Immediate and extended -- the Bride.

People... if you know nothing about me - here is a window into my soul:

I think too much.

So frustrating... it's not something you can't do, but it's hard to stop once I start.

Jellyfish

I was able to watch the sunrise this morning. Can you take a guess at how long it has been since I've done that? I can't even tell you. It's been at least 17 months. I take every ounce of sleep I can get while T-Puppy is sleeping, which usually means waking anywhere between 8-9. As far as rising early and going to my solitary place... it's usually once T-Pup has had breakfast and is playing that I get to sit down and spend some time with the Lord. It was such a treat though to see the sunrise. I was reading in "Let Me Be A Woman" by Elisabeth Elliot, and I had totally new revelation. She says:

"The jellyfish and tiger know what they were made for. They, with all the sea monsters and all deeps, fire and hail, snow and frost, mountains and hills, beasts and all cattle, praise the Lord. By being a jellyfish, the jellyfish glorifies its Creator, for by being a jellyfish it fulfills its Creator's command."

So... who wants to be a jellyfish? (Sounds like a strange gameshow!). Rest in the fact today that you were created to glorify your Creator. Get up early and watch the sunrise. Walk in the image you were made in.

...it encouraged me, hope it can do the same for you :)

Remeber when?

Remember when my son was this small? Wow.


This past weekend, W had a overnight retreat to go to so I decided to leave town as well. T-Pup and I traveled together to Mtgy. He actually did really well. I definitely missed my hubby's presence though - as for us it is so much easier to travel with both parents. This weekend was my brother's last weekend at home - he left this morning for SOI (School of Infantry) and will be there for about 2 months. Also, an old friend from high school got married. I knew I would see some old faces, but I had no idea I would see nearly every face I haven't seen in 4-5 years.

I feel comfortable enough saying it was maximum overload for me. There were high school friends. There were college friends. There were the people who there was never friendship with because I wasn't in the party crowd. There was even a woman who somewhat chewed me out... yes. After speaking with her for a while I figured out there was a bit of bitterness for not being invited to my wedding. I guess she has had to hold in that frustration for nearly 3 years and then let it out as soon as she saw me. Crazy.

In the midst of all of this - I'm praying. Lord, please, somehow encourage me and let me encourage. Back in those days I was all about letting people know that my life was different from theirs. Now, not so much. My life is my life. I walk it each day as close to the Spirit of God as I can...but not perfect in any way. But, I don't want to "rub it in" anyone's faces. I would rather them see it, desire it, and walk the same way.

So... that was that. It was great to see my friend get hitched, and was great to see some old faces (and faces that I still communicate with - Stacy! And her belly with baby Captain Jack).

Spending time with my brother was... well, I'll say this. All frustration comes from unfulfilled expectation. I can't not love him, but some of the decisions he makes... he chooses to make them. I'm searching for the place to see him as the Lord sees him, to interceed for him as the Spirit does. To love him in spite of bad decisions. I long to be in that place with everyone in my life.

It's always good to travel, but it's always better to be home. I loved the moment of walking into our house, smelling that smell (a vanilla-cinnamon type smell), and just know that we're home. Back in our little cleft of the rock, our refuge... our abode in which we abide (couldn't leave it out, haha). T-Puppy is still adjusting. The day after traveling is usually rough for him, getting back into routine and all. Last night he was so restless - I think when W comes home for lunch we might take a power nap while Thomas is sleeping :) at least I will.

Well, my readers (all 4 of you) - continue in brotherly love.

I wish I could sleep

My big man and little man are sleeping fast away. I was close to being there nearly an hour ago, then my phone rang. Err. I wasn't too annoyed though because it was my sister concerned about my mom. Her ringer was off on her phone so... she hadn't answered it all night. All is fine though.

Just as an FYI, we have the new version of Mozilla Firefox and I don't like it. If I misspell something on here, it underlines it like it would do in Word or something. I'd rather do a spell check at the end than see little streaks of red under my words.

So... my brother is officially a United States Marine. Last week was filled with much joy and pride (good pride... as in proud of him). After his graduation all of our family made the trek to TN to spend a few nights here. We celebrated our Champion Christmas on Saturday morning, and they all left later that afternoon. He'll leave January 8 to head to Camp LeJune for ITB = Infantry Training Batallion. I went running with him on Saturday morning... and thoroughly enjoyed it. I couldn't stay caught up with him the entire time, but kept a good pace. It encouraged me to continue running... and now we are looking into one of those seemingly fancy jogging strollers.

To my complete surprise, W bought me an iPod for Christmas. I was really shocked, because I wasn't expecting one at all. I'm excited though because when this stroller does come about, it will be nice to have some tunes to strap to my arm while working out.

I feel spiritually empty right now, and don't really even feel like filling myself. Encouraging myself in the Lord is one of the hardest things for me to do. I'm going to listen to Heather Clark tonight (Glorious Praise - my 2nd favorite album of hers, #1 being Dark Yet Lovely) and maybe that will help me to rest well and encourage me some. Does anyone know what I'm talking about or is it just a Michelle complex? IE... if I want to dream crazy spiritual dreams, putting in Jason Upton is the way to go. Who knows. The Spirit searches all things... even the deep things of God.

Please don't taste laundry soap

So I'm extremely exicted about my "big" Christmas present from W's parents this year. I had trouble deciding, and after a few toss and turn nights the past few weeks, I have decided on a featherbed to put on top of our mattress. It looks absolutely amazing! I picked it out from overstock.com and am supposedly getting a savings of 68%. Another bonus, it comes with the removable / washable cover. Yet another bonus - only $1 shipping. Amazing. I can't wait until I "get" it on Christmas to see if it lives up to my expectations. I'll be sure to keep you posted :)

Changing subjects, I'm a little frustrated with the GOP. I'm a little more frustrated with the Democrats. I'm really just wanting our country to be united. For the compassion of the Democrats and the justice of the Republicans to be married. It's so hard to understand. I have a new interest in the military with my brother being shipped to his MOS within 8 months. Thankfully he is still at Parris Island, and then has his MCT (military combat training) but I want to be able to trust our government as far as he is concerned. I suppose the bigger trust issue here is trusting YHWH with his life ultimately.

I am super excited about going to Parris Island to see him graduate though. I've always wanted to go there - but I never thought it would be to see my lil bro officially become a Marine.

We're doing extensive traveling to and fro Montgomery over Thanksgiving. Please pray for us.

Well... I think thats about all. If anyone cares, the Apple Mango Tango Gain laundry detergent is absolutely amazing. I'm a long time Gain fan, so I am proud to endorse this new flavor-well, scent. Don't eat it... I don't endorse that.

a little better

Things are going a bit better around my family. Today is my sister's one week anniversary of being married. She really seems to enjoy the homemaking part of it. I have not talked to my mom in 5 days - we normally talk at least twice a day. I've tried to call but she doesn't want to talk to me. She says that I'm not loyal to her. I'm praying on what to tell Matthew in my next letter to him. I don't want him to be stressed out by all of this while he is at boot camp. I'm positive he has enough on him.

In my immediate family of W and T-Puppy, all seems to be well on the western front. I got sick on Friday night and felt rough most of Saturday. W did a good job of taking care of me. Then Saturday we picked up Mekia (w's parents dog) and she had the egyptian virus all Saturday night. Thankfully she was confined to the kitchen. You can imagine what it smelled like Sunday morning in here. When we got home from church I laid T-Pup down for his nap, W took Mekia out, and I sprayed each poopy and vomit spot with cleaner, boiled water + pine sol on the stove, and had 3 candles burning. I'm telling you it was rough. T-Pup won't be getting a pet until he can take full responsibility of it! :) (or until I'm persuaded otherwise).

I can't really think of much else to write. I think the college bible study should be good tonight... we're talking about reckless abandonment and what that entails. I found some really neat things this morning when I was preparing for it, but I'll save that for another day.

I'll take any family advice you're willing to give.

family feud

it's driving me crazy.

my 18 year old sister is now married.

my brother is really going to be a marine... it has just become real to me. he will probably go into a war region.

my mother... I don't know what to say.

me... I'm tired of being the negotiator for all of them. it's sressing me out.

Just a Wednesday

My friend Heather that was my summer missions partner in South Carolina is getting married next Saturday, October 14. I am so excited about going back to SC! We are leaving Friday morning (4 or 5am) and driving. It's about an 8 hour drive, so hopefully we'll still have a good bit of the day to spend once we get there. And, I'm hoping with it staying dark until 6:30 that T-Puppy will sleep that extra time. When we came back from GA in January he literally cried from Atlanta to Huntsville. Now that he is older and facing the front hopefully we'll have a better experience.

I woke up about an hour and a half before W and T-Pup this morning. I had some good time with the Lord, folded two loads of laundry, unloaded + reloaded the dishwasher, and started another load all before they woke up. It was soooo nice and felt amazing to be so productive all before 8:30. I have become soo bad at staying in bed until T-Pup wakes up... which is usually 8:30-9:00! I seem so tired in the mornings though. You would think I'd stayed up half the night before, but in all reality we're in bed by 10:30-11:00. It's crazy. I'm praying that today will help in motivating me in future mornings.

So my brother is on day 8 of his 13 week Parris Island boot camp. According to the training matrix, today he is going through Customs and Courtships. Whatever that means, who knows. Tomorrow is bayonet techniques and first aid 1. I'm sure I'm having more fun here at home than he is there. We got his address on Monday, and I mailed out his first letter on Tuesday. I hope he'll write, but with it being my brother, again, who knows.

My sister found out last week that she is having a baby girl. They are planning to name her Addison Faye, and call her Addie. I think it's sweet. She is enjoying feeling Addie move a lot now, and her belly is starting to round nicely.

T-Puppy and I just got back from a trip outside (or as he says "siiiiiiiiiiide"). It was not a normal trip... he wore a t-shirt and old shoes. That's it. Bare bottom. He has an icky case of diaper rash. My homemade wipes haven't helped at all, and the acidophilus I'm taking doesn't seem to be helping either. He's had diarrhea for almost a week now, but is acting normal... so I'm guessing it has to do with teething. He is getting his canines in. As for now, he's prancing around in an old fashioned cloth diaper. It's cute with the little safety pins sticking out the side. A little makeshift... but whatever works.

Well... I guess thats all. I hope all 3 of my readers enjoy. Hopefully I'll post again soon.

The day after

Well, since I know you all (a possible 2, maybe 3 people) are waiting on the edge of your seats to hear how T-Puppy's party went.... it was great. I couldn't have asked for anything better for our little man's first birthday party. The cakes turned out great, everyone (eh, most) of our guests mingled well, and T-Pup had fun... except when he fell into his new toybox. Still not sure how he managed that one. But, as I thought, I'm glad it's over. I'm getting better at " hosting events" and hospitality, but still have so far to go. I wish it were an overnight process that I could learn to put things together and it be an amazing hit (whether baby shower, supper club, or birthday party), but... that would be a long hard night. I suppose as with most things it's best to enjoy the process. I can't wait to put up some pictures from his party. He was soo cute smashing his little fingers into the birthday cake. So sweet. Next year I'm sure he'll have a fork in his hand and be all grown up.

So last night I had what seemed to be a never-ending dream. It was regarding my past, and a person of my past. It frustrated me so... and I have no idea why I continue to have these dreams (this is at least the third or fourth one in the past 2-3 years). W and I talked about it... but I'm still so -ahhhhhhhh- at even dreaming these things. Why can't we control our dreams? And now today it seems to be all that I can think about... which only dampens my already soggy mood.

I've had two cups of coffee this morning, which is an all time high for the past year. Nursing babies and drinking coffee just don't work well together for me. I wish there were some politically correct way to do both. There usually never is. That's why we have conservative and liberal :)

babies everywhere

I can't think of a title right now, so maybe by the end of the post I'll have one. I can't believe today is already Wednesday. Time seems to fly by at such a rapid speed. I am beginning to realize more and more that our time on earth is indeed a mere glimpse of eternity. Isn't that wild? That in itself is what the Lord has been showing me concerning my thoughts of the future... and whatever happens on this earth, use it to produce character in me... for now and eternity.

So that might have been a small tangent, but all is well. We found out this week our friends Alan and Maranda are having two baby twin girls (). There are pregnancies everywhere I look... my sister, our cousin Amanda, Stacy W., Heather F., Alan and Maranda, Barbara S... it's amazing. I'm really looking forward to our next one. I really want T-Pup to have a little playmate. It'll be at least a few more months though. Maternity rider won't be over until December, and I really want to go skiing in February with W and the youth group... and rafting next summer, but that might be stretching it.

So birthday plans are going well. I'm excited more than anything now. My family isn't going to be able to make it, but I understand and hope to send them a DVD of the party.

I tried to upload a picture of me and t-pup, but it wouldn't work... maybe next time.

Birthday Blues

Well, several people have asked if I'm sad or upset that T-Pup is on the verge of his first birthday. This is absurd to me. I'm just as excited as he is! I'm even excited at all of the new goodies he'll be getting. However, what I am a little apprehensive over is the actual birthday party. I wanted it to be a small, sweet setting.... in our home, where he could get down and play, etc. Our family here is HUGE, but we could still handle the smaller party here. But, then I remembered the others we wanted to invite... a few of our friends, a couple youth and their families... and next thing you know I've mailed out 24 invitations.

So, after some prayer I realized we could still handle this. I know. We'll have it at the church. Whit checks and the fellowship hall is open. Ok, cool. I'm doing the party Sunday from 2-4, so we won't have to have any real food - just cake, ice cream, and drinks. I've always wanted to make my children's birthday cakes... just a natural thing, I think. Now, I'm having dreams about this cake! It falling apart... or tasting bad... or not being cute... but in the day time I'm not worried about it. It's a pretty simple cake, with most of the decorations being put on there. The hardest part of decorating will be the crumb coat and top coat of white icing. Come on, this is 8th grade home ec stuff. There isn't any icing bag decoration, save "gluing" the decorations on with icing. I'm trying to be peaceful... :)

So, this week will consist of preparations for Sunday, and the normal homely duties I love and enjoy.

bah hum

soo . . . I'm a little frustrated with the world... my immediate sphere of influence to be exact. I know who I think I am, but in reality it doesn't ever seem to add up. It seems I'm always one step behind. I don't really know how to change it, and I don't necessarily want to accept it. I don't think I'm content, but I really don't think I'm complacent. Is there a medium? I know 1 Timothy 6:6 a hundred times over. But the only gain I ever seem to experience is weight. I do have joy... it just seems shallow. And sporadic. I want the joy of the Lord. I want to be filled with it so much so that nothing else matters... unlike now where it seems everything else matters but the joy of the Lord.

We delivered T-Pup's cute little birthday invitations today. I'm excited about his party but a little nervous too... I'm making the cakes so I feel a little pressured. I really wanted his party to be small and intimate, and it's going to be the opposite. Many people. The thought of living in a town where we 2 or 3 people is actually appealing to me... wild, I know. On the flip side I enjoy all of the family here. I've never really experienced it before, so it's a blessing.

We are going to the high school football game tonight... first of the season. I'm looking forward to it. I've tried on 10 different outfits and none fit my current mood... I'm such a girl.