Birthy-ness

I can't begin to express my current thoughts. I am still amazed that I had natural childbirth with Sam. It was something I wanted to do for so long. After a successful epidural with T-Puppy, it was something I said I could never do. Now, I know this is the route I will take in the future. I *wish* I could sincerely say that it is because I desire it and want the natural way, but as I've written before, my body will no longer accept pain medication... so it's my only option! Now, I'm just trying to learn all I can about it and be more prepared next time. I'm honestly thinking we will skip the hospital all together. I can't say that I am ready for a home birth, but a birthing house seems more appropriate at this time for me. I know what you must be thinking... "good grief, her daughter is only 2 months old!" and touche. That she is. It's just that it is an experience that you never forget, and because of what I experienced, I want to know all I can to better the situation in years to come.

Books on my wish list:
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth - Ina May Gaskin
Spiritual midwifery - Ina May Gaskin
The Thinking Woman's Guide to Childbirth - Henci Goer
Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way
Husband Coached Childbirth: The Bradley Method of Childbirth

Definitely the last one. With both of my labors and deliveries, my husband has been absolutely amazing. T-Puppy's labor was a lot longer, and W was so patient and worked with me the whole way. Sam's was a lot quicker, but obviously more intense. He was so wonderful with telling me when to breathe, holding my hand, encouraging me constantly. With Sam's birth I repeatedly said "I can't do this... I can't do this" and as soon as I would say it, he would return with "Yes, you can... you are doing this... you are doing great Michelle." I am convinced he missed his calling as an OB! :)

In all of this... really, I just want and desire the Lord to show me more of Him. I don't feel like I've ever needed His love and grace as in childbirth. Who knows when the next child may come - only YHWH. Again as I've said before, I want him to birth His Spirit in and through me. From glory to glory, right? 2 Cor. 3:18